Your vows…a very crucial part of your wedding day.
For some more, for some less, but certainly envisioned with a personal touch, right from your heart, and shared on your special day.
The format and length of your vows can be as versatile and different as your personalities and preferences.
And yes, you and many people out there may not have done this before.
– It may be the first time you are getting married (and for you, I also hope it will be the last time with your forever love 😉).
Very often I actually can see a big question mark or blank stare when speaking with my lovely couples about their vows and the process of writing, asking for help as it can be a daunting task.
I mean, why wouldn’t it be intimidating? – How often have you ever written vows?
Where do I start…?
What do I say…?
How long should my vows be…?
And so forth…
Let me tell you one thing though (BIG SPOILER ALERT!):
There truly are no restrictions on what your heart wants to shout out to the world – or what not – on your wedding day.
Short and sweet or super elaborate – it is your choice.
Poignant or letting the muse strike you into an essay – it is your choice.
If it is in front of your loved ones, or in private when having your first look.
If you want to read them off your vow books or a sheet of paper, if you want the words to come spontaneously from your heart, if you have prepared a speech, or if you read them off a napkin that was your notepad last night before the wedding – all up to you! 😊
– Shy or extroverted, quiet or loud, whatever feels best to YOU, and YOU only – not anyone else.
Your vows will come from your heart, so let yourself speak from it.
…Take a deep breath and let tears ALWAYS be welcome!!
So, to get to the point of presenting your love, hopes, dreams, and promises for your future together, here are some tips from me to you about how to give your thought train some ignition:
- Think of how you’ve gotten to where you are at, and what you would like to promise for a lifetime with your partner (e.g. something personal; that “remember when” moment; through thick and thin together…).
- Share what you love about each other – maybe with a personal memory that emphasizes your “why” (humour’s very welcome!).
- Acknowledge your mutual support (e.g. “I know you will always be there when…”), and your and/or your families’ open arms (e.g. “When things get tough for us, I/we/the family will always have your back”…).
Of course, you can also insert some humour here:…”Even if…” 😉 - If you think you are not creative enough (I bet you are though!), try to incorporate quotes or poems if you wish – they may also help you to weave in your own words.
- Most importantly – and last but not least – don’t forget to say, “I love you”.
Again, my friends, there are no rules about what to say or include, these suggestions may simply help you as a quick starter and thought collector for a nice flow with heartfelt words.
Psssssss, there is one little vow mastery secret:
Time the length of your vows by reading them out loud to yourself, then let each other know, so you can adapt to a similar length or – if easier for you – word count.
If you require any assistance, feel free to reach out.
I am happy to review them with and for you.
Happy writing!
Your ceremony writer and magician,
Alex